So we all know how cool those hunting games like the Cabela series are. You know, the games where you have the plastic shot gun and you have to shoot deer, but it doesn’t matter if you have the gun right up against the screen because you still won’t hit them, you damn rookie, you…

At the local pub there is one of these machines. My good bro, Dev, had the misfortune of sitting between me and this machine when we were at this pub the other night, and as conversation flowed, I found my concentration constantly fixated on this machine. It wasn’t that I had the urge to shoot some virtual deer dead and claim the high score. It seemed, as I continued to watch the “Please insert $1” reel on the machine, that there were no deer to shoot in this game. The peaceful nature scenes continued on with not a deer in sight.

So, what kind of animals were in this game? Fucking Baboons, Lemurs and Tree Frogs. Your weapon of choice is a shot gun, and you’re going to turn it on those?! First off, you use that kind of a gun on two of those animals, and they’ll straight up explode. I may not be a rifle expert, but I think I can tell when you’ve gone with too high a caliber for the job. Secondly, why would I want to shoot those lovely animals?! Did the developer think: “Okay, people will see the baboons, lemurs and frogs, and think ‘Oh man that frog is pissing me off. I’m going to fuck that frog up! Someone give me a dollar quick!’”

I could go on, but the point is this: Don’t target Halo, Counterstrike, or even Postal for the “Violent Video-Games” argument. Just go to the pub.